Co-Parenting After Your Divorce

How To Co-Parent Effectively With Your Ex-Spouse

Who said anything about being in love when it comes to co-parenting? Co-parenting is about giving your kids the structure and peace they deserve following your divorce. If you still have unresolved feelings for your ex, try to get some resolution but do not let it stop you from co-parenting your kids.

She ruined our family. He ruined our family. Wait a second here. Please stop pointing fingers at each other. Last time I looked, it took two people to get married and two to divorce.

No one is going to blame you for being enraged at your ex following a divorce. You should take some time to process through your feelings regarding your loss while still remembering that your children are suffering. The most amicable way to approach working with your ex is by co-parenting.

Effective co-parenting begins with hope. Hope that things will improve for you and your children overtime with making a promise to co-parent with your ex. Co-parenting is a winning strategy that removes the tension that comes from knowing what days you will see your kids, when to pick them up at school and who can schedule medical appointments. It takes acting civilly when you do not want to be civil.

The act of co-parenting is coming together for the good of your children. It means that at times, your own feelings of angry, sadness and mistrust must come second to the needs of your children.

The key to co-parenting is focusing only on your children and yes this can be difficult. Your marriage is over, but your family has not completely dissolved.

Children still have parents and you still have your children. Your family may look different now but can still be maintained.

Communication is the secret to reorganizing your family. Learning to communicate with your ex in a businesslike manner is your key to success. Remember, your children’s needs must come first.

Through effective co-parenting, your kids should begin to know that they are more important than the differences that ended the marriage. They need to know that their parents love for them will remain intact.

 

Children With Effective Co-Parenting Will

  1. Feel Secure: When kids know that they are loved by both parents, they usually have better self-esteem and adjust quicker to the divorce.
  2. Be Better Problem Solvers: Children who continually see their parents working together to solve issues are able to calmly solve problems on their own.
  3. Have Higher Self-Esteem:When your kids don’t have to worry about you arguing they can focus more on their goals and dreams.
  4. Have A Healthy Example To Follow: By cooperating with the other parent, you are establishing a pattern of behavior your children can use in the future.

Your children deserve to have both parents in their lives. It begins with hopeful parenting. Make the choice to co-parent today!

Dr. Sue Cornbluth is a nationally recognized parenting expert in high conflict parenting situations. She is a regular mental health contributor for an array of networks and television shows such as NBC, FOX and CBS. Dr. Sue has also contributed to several national publications. Her new best-selling book, Building Self Esteem in Children and Teens Who Are Adopted or Fostered is available now. To find out more about her work, please visit Dr. Sue’s website.

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