What Is High Conflict Parenting?
High-Conflict parenting refers to the tension and stress you feel during the time you are experiencing your divorce. Sometimes, and most often, the tension will continue to grow after your divorce is final. The conflicts you experience during your divorce can interfere with your joint-custody agreements, which can lead to parent alienation. When you argue in front of your kids, the quality of your parenting is reduced, and it doesn’t just affect you. It mostly affects your children! The care they need is dependent on the relationship you currently have with your ex. So stay calm and read these five tips!
5 Tips To Stay Calm During High Conflict Situations
Take a deep breath! I’m serious. Inhale and exhale slowly before you make any decision to seek help for your situation. Too many times I have seen parents make quick impulsive decisions in high conflict parenting situations that have backfired. It’s not how quickly you react; it’s how accurately.
- Have Compassion For Yourself
It’s true what they say, “If we are not good to ourselves we cannot be good to others.” When a trauma hits your family, you first need to take time to process what has occurred. It’s a good idea to sort out and accept your feelings and then make decisions on how to manage the situation. It’s time to be kind to yourself.
- Process Your Anger Appropriately
A traumatic situation has occurred within your family and you are angry. This is not surprising as sadness often underlies anger. Do yourself a favor and put your energy towards working through your sadness instead of wasting it on being angry.
- Release Self-Blame
As parents we are human. We cannot be everywhere all the time to protect our children or fix situations that are not in our control. Blaming yourself for mistakes that you have made only holds you back from moving forward.
- Do Your Research
Get the best professional help that you can for your high conflict parenting situation. Yes, you have to do your homework! Therapists and lawyers are trained in different specialty areas. Do not just pick someone off a page and think that they can help you and your family. Interview professionals and ask specific questions that pertain to your high conflict situation.