Studies have shown that staying together in a marriage for the sake of your children does not benefit their development, however I still hear from parents that say, ” I never should have left my ex. I might be living a miserable life but at least my kids would have their parents together.” The problem with this scenario is that no one is happy in this situation, especially your kids. Two weeks ago, Anna Kendrick from the movies Pitch Perfect and Into The Woods, said that watching her parents’ divorce when she was a teen taught her a lot about love.
“They taught me that staying together for the kids is the wrong approach, “It perpetuates this warped idea of what a healthy marriage is. I hate when people think you’re broken because your parents are divorced. ” I really reject the idea of staying together for the kids. If they’re growing up in a house that’s not healthy, it’s better to know that’s not the model of what marriage should be.”
Kendrick’s words represent the direct thoughts of so many young adults who experience divorce as a child. Most kids do not want their parents to get divorced and have fantasies of them getting back together. This response is perfectly normal but not necessarily the best choice.
The bottom line is that staying in a marriage that is filled with conflict does not benefit anyone. It certainly is not beneficial for children if there is no compromise in sight. . Your kids deserve better and so do you! Children do much better emotionally when their parents are divorced and are able to act civil to one another.
Dr. Sue Cornbluth is a nationally recognized parenting expert in high conflict parenting situations. She is a regular mental health contributor for an array of networks and television shows such as NBC, FOX and CBS. Dr. Sue has also contributed to several national publications. Her new best-selling book,Building Self Esteem in Children and Teens Who Are Adopted or Fostered is available now. To find out more about her work, please visit Dr. Sue’s website.