What Can Be Done About Parental Alienation?
There are several avenues that can be pursued to deal with Parental Alienation. Dr. Sue Cornbluth provides an outline of the different ways that you can approach Parental Alienation.
How To Set Up A Parental Alienation Plan
- Decide if Court is the Best Option for You: Family Court is not always your best option when it comes to parent alienation, however, it can serve a purpose if you cannot come to any terms with co-parenting coaching or mediation.
- Contact a Lawyer who has Experience in Parent Alienation: If you need a lawyer, please make sure he or she has family law experience in this area and is familiar with the concepts of parent alienation syndrome. Ask them about their success rate in these cases and become an active participant in the legal process.
- Traditional Therapy or Parent Coaching Expert? Traditional therapy has not been shown to be the most effective approach in parent alienation situations.Seek out an educational coaching professional who (1) clearly understands Parental Alienation and (2) applies a specific strategic plan to your situation to help you co-parent with the alienating parent and reunify with your children. For more information, please see Parent Coaching.
- Never Stop Contact Efforts : It is critical that you continue to keep in contact with your children, even if your efforts are being rejected. Try using text messages, emails, or letters to make contact. They may not appreciate your effort immediately but it is proof that you still care and they need to know that at all times.
- Manage Emotional Reactions: It is very difficult to manage your emotional reactions when you are feeling attacked by your ex. The best approach you can do here is try to find a way to learn impulse control so you do not participate in a destructive chaotic cycle with your ex. Many targeted parents invest tremendous energy and time in attempts to convince the alienating parent that what they are doing is harmful and unfair to the children and themselves. This is a complete waste of time, and, in most cases, it actually makes things worse because it provides more opportunities to create conflict.
- Don’t Badmouth Your Ex to Your Kids: Badmouthing your ex to your children make you an alienator. By not participating in this destructive parenting, the alienated parent can shield children from the effects of bad-mouthing and prevent losing respect, affection or contact with them.
- Never Give Up:There will be times when you want to give up because the stress from your ex and the rejection from your children is too painful. It’s normal to feel this way. These, however, are the times when you must be the strongest. Your children do not want you to give up on them, even though that is what they are portraying to you. They are simply mimicking their abuser, the alienating parent.