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5 Steps To Decrease Your Anxiety in a High Conflict Divorce



You Can Manage Your Fears

You are having issues with the exchange of custody. Panic begins to set in. You feel sick to your stomach. Your mind is racing a mile a minute, with questions about what you are going to do. You can't sleep, eat and feel as though you are living someone else's life. In addition, you are afraid of the impact this is going to have on your kids, and you are enraged this is happening.


Research shows that you are not alone in your panic. According to a recent report in The Huffington Post, "Divorce causes chronic stress because it is usually an ongoing event," says stress expert Kathleen Hall. So instead of giving off adrenaline the chemical, our body secretes during times of acute stress -- the body will continuously release the stress hormone cortisol.

The fear of unknown occurrences during the divorce is difficult for most people to manage. The act of divorce symbolizes uncertain change. Divorce and post-divorce are changes that present unpredictability, insecurity, and fear of the further. No one should question the fact that you are scared. It is part of the process.


5 Steps To Help Manage Your Anxiety

  1. Acknowledge your feelings So many people try to bypass this critical step which prevents them from moving forward with a clearer mindset. This can be difficult but recognize that you are angry, scared, confused, and disappointed about the divorce. Holding in your emotions only causes more anxiety. You are experiencing a loss and it hurts. Please make sure you are expressing your emotions in appropriate ways and not in front of the kids.

  2. Slow down Put your breaks on. Take your time in making initial decisions. There is no reason to rush the divorce process. Often when this happens people make decisions they regret later that have to do with custody, alimony, and child support.

  3. Get a plan Without some concrete direction, you can feel as though your life is spinning out of control. If you have children create a parenting plan to propose at mediation. Write down your thoughts about what you think would be fair.

  4. Monitor your thinking Obsessing leads to increased anxiety so try not to get stuck in negative thinking. Easier said than done but it's possible to stop. When you feel the rumination occurring check yourself and say I need to switch my thoughts to something positive.

  5. Support You can't go through a divorce alone. You will drown quickly if you do! Reach out to healthy friends and family members that are not going to throw you a pity party. Instead, reach out to people who are going to empower you to get through this difficult time. If you feel that you can't manage your anxiety on your own seek professional help.


Rome was not built in a day. Divorce and post-divorce issues are not resolved within a week. Take time to figure out every move so you make the best decisions.

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