Your family's emotional wounds won't heal in a courtroom. Parents, it's time to stop outsourcing your feelings to Family Court.
- Dr. Sue Cornbluth
- Apr 14
- 2 min read
A common question I receive is whether to pursue family issues through court or avoid it. This is a crucial decision, and here's my perspective:
Understanding Family Court's Purpose:
Family court is a legal system, not a family healing system. This distinction is vital. Many believe court will resolve all their familial problems, but this is inaccurate. Its primary functions are:
Custody Determination: Deciding legal custody and parenting time.
Financial Resolution: Addressing financial aspects of the separation.
Family court does not provide family therapy. While it may recommend services like co-parenting classes, individual therapy, or parenting plan development, it cannot force healing. These are recommendations, not solutions.
Alternatives to Court:
If your goal is family reconciliation, court is often counterproductive. Instead, seek professionals specializing in high-conflict divorce, parental alienation, and estrangement. Critically, they must understand that traditional therapy is insufficient.
Effective Strategies for Healing:
Healing requires a structured action plan, including:
Improved communication techniques with your ex and children.
Personal healing from the emotional trauma of the divorce.
Remember, you cannot support your family if you haven't addressed your own needs.
Why Traditional Therapy May Fall Short:
Therapists or coaches unfamiliar with high-conflict divorce may offer standard parenting advice, which is often ineffective in these complex situations. You require specialized tools and techniques to navigate this unique dynamic.
The Impact of Litigation:
Court inherently fosters conflict. Litigation pits parties against each other, hindering family healing. Therefore, carefully consider the potential consequences before pursuing legal action.
In summary, prioritize professional guidance tailored to high-conflict divorce over relying solely on the court system for family healing.
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