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Self-Compassion Is Critically Important Post Divorce



Your Recovery Is Just As Important As Your Child's

Recovering from trauma is a process that takes time. It is perfectly normal to feel that "I can't do this anymore." That is part of the stress that arises from parenting through traumatic situations. High conflict divorce is a traumatic situation. If you are not good to yourself emotionally, it's hard to be present with others.

Helping your family navigate through trauma is stressful, draining, and difficult, however it is not impossible and there can be a light at the end of the tunnel. Remember taking care of yourself during this difficult time is extremely important towards moving forward. When you reconnect with yourself, you can reconnect with others in healthier ways.

Start Your Healing Process

  • Remind yourself that your responses are normal to stressful situations. Give yourself permission to take a break and relax. Listen to your body and your mind. If you are tired take a nap. If you are full of rage go to the gym.

  • Talk to people as much as you need to about what you are experiencing. Reach out to friends or family. Share your feelings with someone you trust. It's not always about seeking advice. It can just be an opportunity to vent. It is never beneficial to you to hold in your feelings. Everyone needs an outlet.

  • Try to spend time with others. It helps with loneliness and can be comforting. Spending a great deal of time alone can feel alienating and send you into a depression.

  • Do not put pressure on yourself to solve the trauma immediately. Trauma has a way of unraveling at its own pace and in its own way. Also, try not to make any major life changes during this time.

  • Give yourself permission to cry, rage, and express your feelings appropriately when you need to. Holding in these feelings just blocks your road to recovery.

  • Make an effort to do things that help you feel good. Self-nurturing is a critical aspect of managing your feelings about the traumatic situation you are going through. Take a walk when you need to, get a massage, watch television, have a coffee, or meet a friend for lunch.

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